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scream out loud archives
gone with the wind November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2012 January 2016 |
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The world would be better
Monday, September 27, 2010
How i wish that people stop saying how terrible i am / what did i do wrong always/ nagging at me /condeming me abt my weaknessInstead...show me how it can be done / ask me why i did that nicely ..?? so that u will know my reason and enable u to identify and find me a solution...
Wouldn;t that be better for the world?
Let me put it simply...
In a organization...
when things go wrong...
all they do is blame its subordinates..like come on man...
idiot people .....
why dnt they say motivating stuff..like this time ..it didnt go well planned ...next tyme....we shall do better...i know u all can do. ....
boost moral esteem..make u feel u lyke a family , make u feel wanted...rather than pushed ppl down and down till it makes them feel lyke quitting...
then from there...make it fun and enjoyable..
so instead of feeling lyke got u doing for the sake of money... and dragging ur feet to "work"..arggg
now is 12;12 am
thks to the 3 long , unbereable calls that i wished i didnt picked up..but was kinda force too..to not them think i running away from responsibilities ( hate that word) and do not want to be rude..it .spoilt my peaceful night
i end up, thinking abt it..gosh
till then
signing out
Azzy
A good nite
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Tonite i shall sleep peacefullyknowing i have money in my bank..that will last a year ...or more
hahaha....
i happy
it feels so great...having to step on the stage again ( the limelight)
it been awhile since i remember having the same atmosphere
the last tyme was in sec 4...when i was in Drama Club..
i really dnt know how to say this
but i really feel very appreciated ..for last year
it was supposed to be my down point..like seriously
but i had awesome lectures especially my form teacher..he really knows how to give advice that does help me alot
and my dad really did encourage me alot
well..my mum was disappointed abt me failling twice for 0-level..maybe that what pushed to me to strive better..
well...i have frens who indirectly supported me in someway or another
hahahaha..now i feel lyke i doing a speech..chey like in the OSCAR AWARD....hehehe :)
but i still wish i can celebrate my happiness ...guess i can keep it to myself..later ppl think i a proud person..which infact is so not true
till then
signing out
Azzy
I miss you , hippo
Friday, September 24, 2010
i miss your laughter and jokesi miss your voice
i miss your smile
i miss having conversation with you
i miss having your company
The point is
I miss YOU , my fren
I guess when Ur sort of gone....
i realized how lucky i am
u were there always when i in need of a listening ear
well sometimes u can be so direct..but it helps...
when i was sad/depressed
which sometime i never tell you
u were there...to make me smile all over again with ur jokes
u made me feel so safe and warmness...i can just u tell u anythink..
u taught me alot of things about life...
Come to think of it
if u really read tis and knows it you
u sure be saying to me right now
Kental lah /weak ah....or bdk bdk dah bilang
hahaha...
No matter how much i miss you
i should not bother you anymore
i should leave you ....
i dnt want to disturb your happiness
that you been finding..a companion
i happy to see that u finally happy
well...frankly speaking...
i was sad..when u were sad
i try my best... but i still feel awful..
unable to make u happy still.. i still remember how sad u can be.
now knowing u well taken care and being happy
more than i can do
I should leave right?
at least i can repay my gratitude
i dnt want disturb your happiness...esp her
hope she really the one that makes u feel that your the most luckiest guy on earth and make u smile always...:)
wish long lasting happiness for both of you...
i broke my own heart..
i sad...but i dnt need pity
i guess i put to much hope and trust on you..sorry..
i think it worth it..
i just a nobody ...just a normal friend to you
but to me...Ur a somebody i always looked up too
i never told anyone
but everyday in school...i pretend i dnt looked at you
but i do...secretly
just to see your smile...
just a few seconds looking at you..made my day
when i see you at msn...i felt so happy.
i dnt know why...
i pretend to hate your jokes..but i was secretly liking it
smth i lie...because i afraid i get remarks..i dnt wish to hear...
when u scold me , i feel guilty for making you angry...
when i said sorry..i really meant it...
i changed ,....because i dnt want to show how much i need you but the fact is ur so important to me
i feel sad , when u feel sad
i feel happy when ur happy
i dnt mind ...staying all night..to listen to it
i dnt tell what i feel really because i afraid u ignore me/hate me/find me irritating/annoying...
i try so hard to control to hide how much i care abt you
i afraid to make you angry/sad
sometimes i do feel tired but i still dnt wanne sleep but instead talk to you at msn...it was worth it
i really cherish every moment with you
what the point really to say all this..haizzz
how wish
just one last tyme
hear u say chillex to me
it made feel better
hear u say
goodnite and able to say it to you back
make me smile before going to sleep
no point having false hope
all i do is hurting myself more :(
well...i sure will be contented looking at you from far
seeing ur smile and hearing ur laughter...far far away...
fuck i hate this feeling
shit...lah
fuck fuck fuck
now is 11;28pm...fuck..i hate going to sleep
it the hardest .....to control my sadness..:(
i shall keep saying to myself..it worth it..
till then
signing out
Azzy
A interesting story
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Once upon a time ....there was this girl...
one day ...while she was exploring mother earth
she was suck by quicksand
at first she was so afraid that she might die
the more she struggle
the faster she was being suck in
before she knows it she was almost at the edge of darkness...
suddenly she felt something
it was a rope
before she knew it...
she gave all her might...
to pull herself from the darkness....
i hope i given the another chance like this girl
i wish i could have just told the truth ....
till then
signing out
azzy
It over...deep3 inside i still depressed
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
What more can i say....what the use of crying so much
it sad really.....
it takes days and years to build friendship
but break in seconds....
why do the people i trust have to go away
at the time i really need them
As a friend ,,,,all i can do is wish them for being happy everyday of their life....
Tdy was fun ...
i still cnt believe i went UNiversal Studious Singapore
it was like just one month ago...i really wish i could go there
and there i was with my two SYOG frens ...they are AWESOME Ppl really
in few hours...we took all the rides...
haha
it was crazy come to think of it....
all i can say today was memorable....it made me feel better..after getting depression...
shit ..now i feel lyke crying again...
fuck....
i hate this terrible feeling....
fuck...
till then
signing out
azzy
Azzy
Lost
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
LostConfuse
Lonely
i dnt even understand myself at times...WHy? WHy? WHY??
i need to figure a lot of things....
so depressing........
scrolling the whole contact list
realising......i actuallly have no frens to talk to without feeling akward or insecure if i disturbing them...so saddening...sssssssssssssso DEPRESSING
alll i know...........i miss my old self............i want ME back..pls
till then
signing out